Oh, crap

WARNING: This blog is NOT for the faint of heart. My world is covered in poo.

Maybe I should begin at the beginning.

Hannah hadn't have a bowel movement in about 4 days. I fed her prunes. I fed her apple sauce. I fed her pintos and cheese from Taco Bell. Saturday I had to scurry around in the 38 degree weather with the kids and during the afternoon Hannah decided to poop everywhere we went. On the 3rd trip to the changing table in Walmart's notoriously disgusting bathroom carrying my diaper bag, Jeremiah, Hannah, Hannah's quilt, Jeremiah's jacket, hat and scarf, Hannah got something nasty on my sweatshirt. By then it was 28 degrees and I am wandering around the parking lot looking for my (white, Chevy Impala that EVERYONE OWNS) car.

The result was a sore throat on Saturday night that had developed into a full blown flu by last night. Overnight both my kids caught it. So today my children and I have been laying around sniffling and coughing.

I tried to lay on my bed with them and have a nap but Hannah (maybe her throat is hurting?) nursed for 2 HOURS! Everytime I tried to get away from her she would cry. Loudly. By the time I finally was able to roll over to try to nap myself Jeremiah was awake and coughing up a storm because his medicine had worn off. Of course.

I boxed darling, sleeping Hannah in the middle of the bed with pillows and came out to give Jeremiah some more cough syrup. About 30 minutes later he said, "I'm gonna go check on my baby sister" and I began dinner. 2 minutes later he returns and says, "Mama, Hannah's awake but there's something weird on Daddy's pillow." She's been throwing up mucus all day so I figured that was it, oh great, and went to get her.

It was Not Snot.
She had pooped her diaper and overflowed it, then rolled in it. It was on 4 pillows. It was on my sheets. It was on my HUGE, KING SIZED, puffy comforter my DMIL gave us. The thing won't even FIT in my washer. I have a super-capacity washer, but it's a 1998 super-capacity washer not a brand new, if-your-kid-barfs-on-the-seat-of-your-grandparents'-Buick-you-can-fit-the-whole-car-in-the-washing-machine super capacity washer.

I started to cry.
I picked up the baby, stripped her clothes on the bed and took her to the kitchen where I sat her in the sink and hosed her off. Bad idea, then I had poop on my PUR filter. Crap! Had Jeremiah run and get me a bar of soap and a towel... baby's now clean.

Took the pillow cases of my pillows, sheets of my bed and threw them in the tub. Shoved the whole comforter in the washing machine. It won't get clean, but it will be clean enough that dear hubby can take it to the super-loader at the laundromat on his way home from the dentist in the morning. Next I will wash the sheets and pillows. Then I will give Jeremiah a shower. I think he managed to get away unscathed but better not to take any chances. I made him take his clothes off and wash his hands. Twice.

Dinner is finally done, thank God for frozen ravioli and Prego. Now maybe the rest of the night can be uneventful. Thankfully, also, Hannah's nose is now running clear instead of green, albeit running like no tomorrow. I am tired of sucking out baby noses. And I am tired of being covered in poo. And, I am tired.